This "Gen Z Translation" of HARRY POTTER is a total vibe
Some ambitious Harry Potter fans have begun to translate the series into Gen Z talk. Yes really. Just take a look at the infamous opening page:
What would happen if we just … updated the vibe a little bit … ahh there we go —
So far, you can read the first four chapters of Harry Potter and the Smart-Ass Stones, but the rest of the book is supposedly forthcoming. In the same directory, you can find the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Ratios and Harry Potter and the Chug Jug of Fiya, too.
I will admit that Dumbledore's first appearance is pretty dank:
An ancient man appeared on the corner the cat had been protec on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old with a boss beard long enough to tuck into his belt. He was slaying in his long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blu eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his honker was long and crooked as though he had been punched in the face before. This ya boi, Albus Dumbledore.
Albus Dumbledore was super chill about the fact that he wasn't wanted on this street. He was busy doing a self body cavity search until he felt the gaze of the catto. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known."
He found his query, a silver cigarette lighter, flicked it open and clicked it. RIP the nearest street lamp. Ya boi got click happy and plunged the street into darkness. Now the nosy Nancy neighbors could see nothing on the block. The old man waltzed down the street to chill with the cat.
"Sup, Prof McGonagall?"
Prof McG shot Dumbledore a sharp look and said, "The birbs are nothing next to this tea they be sipping. Legit what they say has me shook."
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Thom Dunn, Khareem Sudlow
